Zuckerkrümelchen
A crumble of a piece,
Of sugar cube quite small,
Her pet German word for me.
It’s what she would me call.
Then she was my new love.
She had a gentle touch,
With fingers light, my heartstrings,
She tenderly would clutch.
Her timid trusting eyes
In candlelight would gleam.
I could see through to her soul.
Of her I often dream.
A score and more of years
Have passed since last we met,
But the things she meant to me
I still remember yet.
Fen Sing
I swam in the Swamp of Debauchery,
A wencher whom few could surpass.
I mired in the Quicksand of Lechery.
My marsh cry? A jolly, “Morass!”
I had no commitment affinity.
Contentment would finally pass.
You can in my married vicinity
Still hear my sad croak of, “Morass.”
True Love
You asked me why I chose her,
Preferred her over you.
What has she got you do not have?
Could I give you a clue?
Don’t I have any feelings?
Why did I your hopes smash?
She has a heart that’s pure and true,
A house, a job and cash.
Bliss
He says his life is wonderful.
His wife grants all his wishes.
Why, on a Tuesday just last month,
She helped him with the dishes.
Stay
I love to listen to the wind
And waves upon the shore.
I like to watch the sun go down
With someone I adore.
I’ll walk along the beach at night,
In moonlight with you, Dear.
I’ll always want to be with you,
To dance with you held near.
When I am far away from you,
You do my heart control.
You are the other part of me,
The part that makes me whole.
So stay by me a little while,
A year or two or ten.
Don’t leave until I’m dead and cold.
I might could stand it then.
Bachelor Man
I know a man, a bachelor man,
One who has no wife to speak of.
He’s never made the same mistake once.
He’s always been lucky at love.
The Little Red-haired Girl
There skips the little red-haired girl.
She dances, pauses, leaps.
Here views the shy round-headed boy.
Each memory he keeps.
There laughs the little red-haired girl,
Among her many friends.
Here sits the sad round-headed boy,
With loneliness contends.
There walks the little red-haired girl,
With purpose, straight ahead.
Here plods the lost round-headed boy,
Whose hopes and dreams are dead.
There goes the little red-haired girl,
To someone else’s arms.
Here stays the gaunt round-headed boy,
Still dreaming of her charms.
Decisions
You really are most beautiful.
With you I’d love to go.
My wife makes all decisions, though.
She says my answer’s no.
I used to make decisions, too,
A long, long time ago.
Mine often were disastrous ones,
Whenceforth the status quo.
I bow before her pedestal.
We do all things her way.
I don’t think much. That is her job.
She works at it. I play.
Unhealthy
Some foodstuffs cause indigestion,
Give you days of unhealthy strife.
Wedding cake’s the worst offender.
Effects can stay with you for life.
Sue, Slightly Peeved About Something I Did, I Guess
So, you think that you have troubles?
My wife, Sue, gives me more.
Her mother came to spend six months.
Sue left the day before.
Sue bought herself a new wardrobe,
Ran up my credit card.
She had a yard sale Saturday,
Sold off our entire yard.
Sue used my new electric drill
To ventilate my tires,
Piled all my clothes out in the back,
Then started little fires.
Sue pawned my guns and fishing stuff,
Filleted my trophy bass.
She phoned my boss, told him I’d quit,
Said I’d called him an ass.
Sue gave away my blue tick hound,
My tools and camping gear.
She used my coin collection coins
To buy a keg of beer.
Sue emptied all our bank accounts,
Went off to try her luck.
When she’d lost all our hard-earned cash,
She sold our pick-up truck.
I don’t know if Sue’s gone for good.
I don’t know where she’s gone.
I don’t know if she’s coming back
Or how she’s getting on.
My friends all say I’m better off
If Sue stays gone for good.
They hope she never comes back here.
I only wish she would.
Wedding Vow
Afraid of another divorce,
I will never seek a new spouse.
I’ll find some broad I don’t much like,
Then give her cash down for a house.
I won’t have the nagging headache.
I won’t have that whine in the car,
Won’t have to make all the payments
On her bar tab down at the bar.
I won’t have to lower the seat,
Compliment a new ‘do or blouse.
I’ll go home whenever I please,
‘Cuz all it can cost is the house.
The urges will fade in the end.
I won’t want any more spouses.
The only task left then will be
To pay for all of the houses.
Copyright 2017 Don Hoffmann